It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I realized that my lack of sexual pleasure in the past was less to do with my partner’s skills and much more to do with how I felt around them emotionally. If I felt like my partner was someone safe who wouldn’t judge or shame me for my desires, I was able to relax and open up about what I needed in order to be pleased. After that point I still had a lot of sex with a lot of people, but it was only with those who I felt a strong connection and chemistry with. This led to some super awesome sexual experiences. Sex became something that I did for me and that made me feel happy and connected to others versus feeling empty and used.
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